Even trying hard not to listen to her conversation I had already figured out she was some sort of music critic. Just goes to show the circles I travel in, I didn’t know until later that week just who she was and the clout she had in the music business. Of course I couldn’t resist taking us down that damn road where we first met as well. Erin watched and smiled she even turned to me and assured me she really isn’t that violent towards cars anymore. I’m sure she could tell I was relieved. The day steadily eased itself into evening and me feeling brave asked her to dinner tomorrow evening. The change in her was noticeable and for just a moment my thoughts turned all negative, her smile came as a blessed relief. ‘I feel I had better mention that my reputation with the male of the species is somewhat rocky at best. I personally put it down to my Irish decent, but then again maybe I’m just making excuses, I’m really not sure. Some would call me a man eater, does that reputation bother. Porn reaches out and holds me, carressing me, calling me to come deeper and deeper. I never think - how do I break from this cycle? I only ever think - how can I get deeper? How can I devote myself more fully to Porn? I have Porn arrive in my email. I have Porn arrive on my phone. I have Porn arrive in texts. I have Porn as a screensaver. I have Porn as a homepage.But still, I ask...how can I go deeper? How can I live more completely into the Porn?I surround myself with people who throw themselves willingly into Porn.When I blog, they write, saying, "yes, go deeper." When I celebrate jerking off they say, "yes, jerk off more." When I wear panties and a bra to keep myself ever aware of Porn and sex they say, "yes, wear them all the time you are a real sissy slut."When I spend hours of my life surfing Porn and masturbating they say, "yes, spend more time with Porn." When I chat, they say, "Yes, stay, let us lose ourselves in Porn together."But still, I wonder...how can I go deeper? How.
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